The 50 best excuses for not going out

Everyone knows what student life is supposedly about: going out to clubs and getting drunk. (Oh, and getting a degree.) Yeah! Students! #Unay #yolo #cracycray Right?

Yeah. There are those students. And then there's me.

However, I know that I'm not actually alone in my dislike of clubs and my desire to spend my little free time relaxing on the sofa with friends/chocolate/tea. Sometimes (or in my case, most of the time) *whisper it* you just don’t want to go out and pay good money to spend hours in a dirty, sweaty room, full of dirty,sweaty people, where the drinks are overpriced, so you don't want to buy them, and then you sober up, and you realise it's really very boring, you get tired, you want to go home, but you feel you can't because you've paid to get in. Yeah. #yolo indeed.

Onesies, hot choc, Mary-Kate & Ashley DVD. This genuinely was a night during my freshers' week.

Sure, even I occasionally enjoy going out and dancing with my friends, but let's face it, there are nights where you just want to stay in with a cup of tea to catch up on Gossip Girl in your onesie, but student society tells you that you must go out and you must love it. Not wanting to go out can often be hard for fellow students to accept. Quite frankly, one of my ultimate annoyances is when people go "What? Why won't you come out? Don't be lame! Come out! Stop being boring!" in response to someone saying they're not going out. JUST LEAVE THEM BE!

So next time you’re having one of those nights and someone is pressurising you to go out, take your pick of one of the following reasons/lies and they’ll be sure to understand. “I can’t go out tonight because…”

1. I’m sick *coughs*, to quote Mean Girls

2. It’s a full moon and I’m worried I might turn into a werewolf

3. I need eight hours beauty sleep

4. I’ve got a 5,000 word essay to write for tomorrow

5. I’ve got an exam tomorrow

6. I’m broke

7. I need to skype my friend in [insert country with time difference to the UK]

8. I’ve converted to Mormonism

9. I’ve decided to be teetotal

10. I need to paint my nails

11. It’s against my religion

12. I’m fasting

13. I’m saving myself for a big party tomorrow night

14. My parents are visiting tomorrow

15. I don’t believe in socialising after midnight

16. I’m not allowed to leave the house after dark

17. I don’t wish to conform to society’s expectations of a university student

18. I’m above clubbing

19. Nowhere is up to my standard

20. I don’t wish to fuel consumerist society

21. I have nothing to wear

22. I’ve hurt my ankle

23. I’ve got a blood test tomorrow

24. I’m on antibiotics

25. I’m pregnant

26. I’m knitting my own yoghurt tonight

27. I’ve run out of false eyelashes

28. I didn’t fake tan in time

29. I’m waiting for a call

30. I need to be at my laptop when One Direction tickets go on sale

31. I’m waiting for Harry Styles to tweet so I can reply and he’ll notice me

32. I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend/girlfriend

33. I need to look after my ill housemate

34. It’s raining

35. It’s snowing

36. It’s too hot

37. It’s too cold

38. I’m too edgy

39. I don’t like you

40. I’ve got a Scrabble date

41. X Factor’s on

42. I’m a method actor researching the role of a 40 year old

43. It wouldn’t be fair to the other guys/girls who are out on the pull

44. I’ve already been out this year

45. It’s personal

46. I’m washing my hair

47. I lost my ID

48. My horoscope told me not to

49. I don’t have anyone to look after my plant

50. The world isn’t ready for my dance moves.

Boom. Dilemma = sorted.